Dear,

It's been a long time since I've last written my thoughts down. Sadly, I have nothing fun to tell. I have become what I hate most. I've become boring. I have nothing in my life. I wake up, go to work(I like my work don't get me wrong), go to sleep and put that pattern on repeat. The days I don't have to work, I just end up being miserable and spend the day alone or at my job. Because I have nothing else to do. I pictured my life as exciting and fun. And it used to be. It really used to be. I've experienced crazy nights, fun jobs and wonderful love. Now I love less, I live less and I enjoy less. Writing this, I'm alone in my bed. I'm thinking about all that I wanted to do and all the ideas I had. I just stopped being me and become someone else. I'm bitter and I hate everything. I tell people what to do, because I hate what I've achieved. I finally fell into the spiral of neverending boringness that I feared so much. I loathe what I am, not who I am.

I've lost a lot of friends along the way and I just feel so intensely alone without them. All these exciting people, doing wonderful things while I'm here. Wasting precious time, time that I could spend doing the things I love. I could just go back to that life you might say. But it's not that easy. You know it's not. It's a struggle getting myself back up, I fell a long way down and hit the bottom pretty hard. My wounds are healing slowly, but surely. It's a hard way.

But one day, I'll try to be I will be king.

Love,

S.